Bullhunter
Global Moderator
318th FIS Jet Shop 1975-78
Currently: Offline
Posts: 7,384
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Joined: May 2005
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Post by Bullhunter on Aug 22, 2010 12:54:26 GMT 9
Duy, I can't say I know how you feel or what you are going through. But I can tell you that I have suffered loss in my life. Different that your loss and other folks losses. But a loss of a loved one is a loss. My first was in West Germany at Sembach Air Base in 1981. I came home from working the flightline one day and my wife met me at the door with a suit-case. Said she was sick & tired of being a wife and mother and was leaving. She just walked away and left me with a 14 month old daughter and 5 year old son. I figured that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. But the Lord was with me and my children and we got through it. Several years later I met Belinda and we married. April 1988 I received an urgeant Red Cross message through my orderly room that my father was requesting my assistance as my younger brother was threating his life. He had already been injured by being hit in the head with a coffee cup by my brother. I flew home to Pennsylvania from Washington State to see what I could do to help. Its a very long and detailed story so I'll just jump to the end. My brother broke into my dad's home one night on drugs and started fighting with us. We called the PA State Police for help and my Uncle whe lived close. My brother got my Dad in a headlock and when he got free he suffered a massive heart attack. My brother then threated my Uncle and I with a wood axe and that is when the State police pulled in and disarmed him. My brother was arrested for manslaughter and there was a long trial which I testified against my brother. I suffered and witnessed the loss of my Dad that night, but also lost my brothder as we have never spoken since that night in 1988. Then in 1990 at age 36 I felt like I was going to die after several years of feeling ill. My wife was a nurse and had our military doctor do some specialized tests. Shortly after those I was given an angiogram where they put dye through your heart arteries and look for restrictions. I was told that my main artery that goes around the center of the heart was 99.9% restricted. Maybe just a trickle of blood was seeping through. I was told I should have died months or a year prior but somehow survived. I was to critical to fly to the regional military hospital so the heart bypass was done downtown. Again the Lord was with me and my family.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your loved one. Will this be the only loss in your life? I pray it will be. All I know from my 57 years on this earth is that time will help ease your suffering. The Lord does not give us more suffering than we can handle.
I sometime wonder and ask why my marriage broke up in 1981 but there is no answer for that. It just happened. Often I think back and wonder why my Dad had to loose his life early and miss out on years of being a grandfather to my children. I wonder how was it that I and my Uncle survived that night and my Dad died. Still no answers. Then I think about what the doctors said about my heart surgery. "That I should have died years before and never made it to surgery." That night my Dad had suffered his heart attack from stress my heart was ill then and why didn't I also have a heart attack from all the stress. Only God knows these answers. There is no use trying to figure out why we suffer these losses. I just try to focus on all the good times I had with my Dad. Someday when our time comes, and we meet the Lord, all our questions will be answered.
My God bless you and be with you as time passes.
Gary
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Post by pat perry on Aug 23, 2010 5:02:21 GMT 9
It is without doubt the worst thing that has ever happened to me, with nothing else coming close, and I wish it to happen to no one. As of yesterday, everything I have to do regarding her is over as the tombstone was laid yesterday, and today I polished it nicely. With ease I disposed of everything related to her medical condition as I never want to be reminded of it. Her other possessions are another story. I can't let go. For nearly two years it was constant visits to doctors, clinics, test facilities, hospitals, and that was all I did--coordinate all those appointments and get there on time. The horrible looming question I have before me is: "What do I do on Monday, and so forth for the rest of my life?"Don't want to depress anyone, but if I were depressed, it would be a great improvement! I feel like an Aztec cut out my heart and threw it down the pyramid, and then a dog grabbed it up and ran away and ate it! It's early days yet, and others have survived this event, and I will too, but it is going to be rough sailing for the near future. Thanks for the thoughts. Duy Hi duy, The Big CO never closes one door without opening another one... it's your job to find it! Who is the most important person in your life? There's only one correct answer - YOU. That's not arrogance speaking, it's common sense. Others depend on you now and others you have yet to meet. How will you take care of them if you don't first take care of yourself? Listen to the Old Sarge and to MArv if he's lurking out there and will speak up. They endured losses like yours and yet today, they have found compelling reasons to live life to its fullest. Pastor "Jim Too" and Lindel dropped by for a visit here in Flower Mound yesterday. It was such a pleasure to meet both men and Jim's wife De. Jim has ministered to many folks in his assignments who have been in your shoes. Having these fine folks visit Judy and I reminded us of how important it is to reach out others and remind them how much they mean to us. If your ears were burn'in yesterday it's because we were talking about you and AJ and some others on the Forum who have been through some tough times lately. Now, look at these smiling faces... and get out there and find that open door! Pat P. :teacher
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Post by lindel on Aug 23, 2010 11:02:38 GMT 9
Duy, I haven't experienced the loss of a wife at this point in my life, and I hope it's a long way off. I can however, say prayers for you, and like Pat, urge you to go out and get busy. Time will take the edge off, but it'll never go completely away. Concentrate on the good times and that will help too. As far as my evening with Pat, Judy, Jim Too and De. It was absolutely delightful, I'm just not so sure about that shifty guy on the right...
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