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Post by Jeff Shannon on May 23, 2010 18:50:41 GMT 9
This is the worst month we have had in a good many years. It is a mess. Son violently attacked and hospitalized. Wife had leg surgries & has pains. My heart angioplasty fixed one artery but not another. Need another angioplasty to be tried in a few weeks. Problem with a dear old friend. Yesterday lost my voice & developed a mild cough. A family friend died and I missed the merorial service cause I'm sick. My son's surgery is next week and if I'm still sick can't see him. So what other problems and stressers can happen in the remaining 8 days of May? ;D Yes, its 0215Hrs and I'm not tired and can't sleep. Prayers lifted up for you and your family Gary!!
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Bullhunter
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Post by Bullhunter on May 24, 2010 3:20:31 GMT 9
Doing better this morning, some of my voice has returned. Coughed up some blood last night and blew some out my nose but that stopped. If it hadn't it was going to be a trip to the ER as i just started taking Plaxix (Blood thinner) a few days ago. Seen to be better today but plan on seeing my doctor likely tomorrow if my still improving. Feeling better mentally also as the problem/conflict with old friend has been resolved :thanks for the prayers.
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Post by Mark O on May 24, 2010 13:37:20 GMT 9
My son's surgery is next week and if I'm still sick can't see him. Bull, please keep us posted on your son. Penny and I are praying for your entire family. God bless you all. Mark
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Post by pat perry on May 25, 2010 6:28:24 GMT 9
This is the worst month we have had in a good many years. It is a mess. Son violently attacked and hospitalized. Wife had leg surgries & has pains. My heart angioplasty fixed one artery but not another. Need another angioplasty to be tried in a few weeks. Problem with a dear old friend. Yesterday lost my voice & developed a mild cough. A family friend died and I missed the merorial service cause I'm sick. My son's surgery is next week and if I'm still sick can't see him. So what other problems and stressers can happen in the remaining 8 days of May? ;D Yes, its 0215Hrs and I'm not tired and can't sleep. Bull, You are stressing out. This may sound totally out of left field but it was advice given to me during my darkest of times. Take those problems (the ones you can't solve yourself) and turn them over to the Big CO above. He can handle them, you can't. Next... who is the most improtant person in your life? If your answer is anyone other than "I AM", you are wrong. Many people love you and depend on you for support and guidance. If you don't keep yourself nourished and rested, how the heck are you going to serve those others who need you? You have a lot of folks keeping you in their prayers. Take a break from trying to carry the whole load by yourself and let Him carry you and the load. He did that for me. He'll do it for you. And we're here to help Him. Pat P.
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Bullhunter
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Post by Bullhunter on May 25, 2010 8:49:43 GMT 9
Thanks Pat. I'm feeling better. Cold moving out and voice is coming back. Our older son has been over here last few days taking care of the property for us. Our younger son's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. We have not heard from him today so will call him later today. I'll be glad when is surgery is completed and he has fully recovered. Only other thing is my 2nd angioplasty next month. If my cardiologists isn't able to open that heart artery more that it is now, then so be it. It is what it is and the Lord will take care of it.
I'm also going "AJ's" route and going to read and comment less on the political mess going on.
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Post by Bullhunter on May 26, 2010 3:57:59 GMT 9
Our son went into surgery at 0730hrs this morning. As on 1200hrs he is still in surgery. No new information.
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Post by Gene on May 26, 2010 7:19:47 GMT 9
i'm still here...stay calm...
:god_bless_usa
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Post by lindel on May 27, 2010 6:21:53 GMT 9
We're here for you. Please keep us posted as you can.
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Post by Bullhunter on May 27, 2010 11:09:33 GMT 9
Posted by lindel:
Hospital Incounter Rob tells his Mom he doesn’t want to see her until after surgery. He tells me the same and I say we will likely visit the day after. My thinking is let’s not pay for a hotel when Rob will likely be in surgery most of the day and then under drugs. We would likely only be able to see him a few minutes. Mom had made hotel reservations to see her son after surgery as most loving and caring mother’s would. We arrive later and after dinner at the Hospital and spend maybe 5 minutes with Rob. His Biological Dad (Jim)is there and is silent until we start walking out of the room. Then we hear in a raised voice, “Your 30 years old and they still won’t respect your wishes!”
Out in the hall way I say to Belinda, “No reason to act like an *jerk*.”
As we walk down the hall and around the corner Rob’s Dad (Jim) chases us down and makes threatening statements. First he asks me, “Empty dark rooms here want to duke it out?” For Rob’s sake I refuse to respond to this and start walking away. Then he follows us a bit further and says, “Lots of dark allies around Seattle you better be careful!” I still refuse to respond and keep walking.
During the 1980’s, we had suffered verbal threats by Rob’s Dad before, but I was in better health then, and we lived on a military installation. These days I have some health issues as did my Dad when my younger brother was threatening him. In time my Dad lost his life and my younger brother was arrested for in-voluntary manslaughter. The trial was in 1989 and I decided then I was not going to take any verbal threats from anyone. Verbal abuse in person or by telephone.
One the way out of the hospital I reported the threats to a WA State Patrol Officer at the hospital security desk. He called Hospital Security who took a report and instructed me to call Seattle Police for a case number. Seattle Police responded and took my statement and gave me a case number.
Now that I’m back home and going back through this event I see exactly what really happened. We showed up after surgery but should have waited till the following morning. What really happened was that Rob’s Dad baited me with that rude comment and I took the bait by say to Belinda as we left the room what I thought of his comment.
I should have been on guard and alert for this type of encounter as we have been here before. For example: Rob’s Dad once picked him up for visitation and said loudly to Rob in front of Belinda and I, “Take one last look at your Mom!” Just to interject the idea that he might not return Rob ever. Then we had to play his games to get Rob back after visitations. We show up at Denny’s to pick-up Rob and they wouldn’t be there. I’d go back home and Jim would call and say to me, “Belinda has to come alone to pickup Rob.” So we would get a friend to watch our other son and daughter while Belinda drove to Denney’s to pick-up Rob. Jim would show up and I’d get up out of the back seat. Jim laughed and said he was parked across the road all the time watching. On numerous occasions we had to get the police involved with visitation exchanges. At one point the court ordered visitation exchanges to be done at the McChord Air Force Base Security Gate and a log book kept of arrival times. I kept the log book and signed it but Jim refused. Jim was often late and stopped short of the security gate and forced Belinda or I to exit out of the base gate to get Rob, thus in violation of the agreement. One Friday evening Rob was sick and had been to the doctor earlier. Doctor suggested Rob stay inside and rest with medication, etc, etc. WE inform Jim that visitation could not happen that weekend because Rob was very ill. I offered the next weekend as it was a 3-day weekend. Jim said, “No I’m driving over the mountains and you have Rob ready to go!” I expressed to Jim that next weekend would be better for Rob and he, as they could have more time together and he wouldn’t feel sick. Jim show up few hours later and I talked to him through the screen door. He wanted Rod and I told him again he was sick and he could exercise his visitation the following weekend. Jim departed mumbling some stuff but I couldn’t understand his comments. Time had passed and the door bell range and then there was loud knocking. I opened the door and the base security police pushed their way in. The base SWAT Team was positioned outside for all our friends and neighbors to see. I was informed that I was under arrest for assaulting Jim and causing bodily injury. I was informed that Jim showed up at the main security gate with a large bump on his forehead , that I hit him with a rifle, and chase him out of base housing. I protested saying, “I never touched him, never left the house, and talked through the screen door!” as I was handcuffed. The security police searched my home and took away all my guns. My next door neighbor came out and asked what was going on. He was a special agent with the United States Air Force Office Of Special Invesitations (OSI). They told him I was under arrest and gave him all the details. This OSI Agent asked, “Was Jim driving this car this color? Security police answered, “Yes.” The OSI Agent then said, “I saw the whole thing. The car pulled up, the individual got out, went to the door, Sgt Price and he talk and Sgt Price never opened the screen door or left his home.” The OSI Agent then suggested that they were making a false arrest as I was surely innocent, and they had better release me. How warped, disturbed, or vengeful do you have to be, to make a self inflicted injury to one’s forehead, and then make false statements to police under oath. Somehow, this must be all our fault also?
But according to Rob today it’s all our fault and we put his Dad through hell. The Pierce County Court terminated Jim’s visitation after Rob told a teacher on his school play ground that he would not be coming back soon because he and his Dad were moving to Costa Rica. Rob’s Dad was able to bullshit a court ordered Guardien-Adlidum, several judges, and his attorney for years. The trouble with bullshit is, the more your spread it, and the longer you spread it, the more it stinks. Of course, once again it’s all our fault?
Few years back I paid Rob in advance to take down our Christmas Lights. Later Rob cursed out his Mom at the kitchen table. Mom talked back and said nobody talks to her like that in her own house and if he didn’t like it he could leave. He stormed out would take down the lights and no contact with him for 9 months. Again, our fault?
To help Rob out with his music business when he lived in a trailer up the road we cosigned a small loan for him. He started paying the credit union on time and showed responsibility. Then he persuaded his Mom to cosign another loan on top of that. The Quimper credit Union would not do it unless both parents cosign, so I did. After that he quit paying the loans and did not inform us so it went to collections and ruined my credit rating. I was understanding like always and figured out with our accountant that if I filed a claim in small claims court and got a judgement then I could get it all back at the end of the year as a deduction for a bad debt. When I approached Rob on this while driving he got mad and told me to stop the van and jumped out yelling at me that he didn’t want an judgement against him and he wasn’t going to repay the loan or us either. He then later that day yelled at his Mom complaining about me. Once again it was all our fault?
Not long ago Rob asked for assistance so he would not get evicted from his apartment. I asked that he ask his friends and his other Dad for help first then we would help. Later he told us he had to do something illegal to make his rent and basicly throwing a guilt trip on us. I guess he was pissed because we requested he ask his friend s and other Dad first. Then it was quite awhile before the relationship warmed up again. Again all our fault because we dared to tell him to ask his friends and other Dad first?
To get back at us he refused to attend our 25th wedding anniversary when his Mom was going to provide him a plane ticket.
Now he has this happen to him and he ends up in Harborview Hospital in Seattle twice. Because he is out of work, can’t work, injured, and in the hospital he falls behind in his rent. He worries about getting evicted again because he is behind in his rent. His Mom & I request through our Church’s Benevolence Fund assistance for him. The Church covers part his back rent, this month’s rent , and enough is left over to cover the 1st week in next month’s rent.
On one of our previous trips we asked Rob about his other Dad. His comment was his Dad was flakey, he couldn’t depend on him, and often he did not get back to him. I don’t know if that is true or not. Maybe just a remark to encourage us to help him more.
On the way home today Mom said to me, “You know out of my two sons the one who treats me the best and shows his love for his Mother is Gary.”
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Post by Gene on May 27, 2010 14:26:15 GMT 9
sounds like a chapter out of a stephen king novel...
keep your cool and be happy the surgury went well...
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Post by lindel on May 27, 2010 19:42:37 GMT 9
I'm sorry that you and your wife have had to go through this Gary.
I'll be expanding my prayers for Rob.
Still keeping my prayers for you and the missus.
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Post by pat perry on May 28, 2010 1:17:09 GMT 9
Hi Gary, People like that use intimidation and harrassment to "transfer their problems to others". I have seen this happen before, usually in divorce situations.
You are indeed wise not to allow yourself to accept his problems.
Hang in there - people like that eventually self-destruct.
Pat p :teacher
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Bullhunter
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Post by Bullhunter on May 28, 2010 11:40:34 GMT 9
I just wrote about a few things that have happened. I could have written a book. Belinda got a call from him and he said he was still mad, doesn't want us to visit him, and his natural dad was justified. It really does not matter to me. The other guy spoke first so I rest my case. My wife and I have agreed that we he does come around and he will intime when he needs something like money for rent our answer is going to be. You need to get it from your natural dad. Does not mean we don't care for him or love him. Just means he needs to take care of himself, and if he needs help he gets it elsewhere. I'm a peace with this.
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Post by Gene on May 28, 2010 15:30:36 GMT 9
so let it happen...quit dwelling... its not good...
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Post by daoleguy A.J. Hoehn (deceased) on May 29, 2010 18:46:43 GMT 9
I don't normally talk but do now. For years I cared for my Lady Debby. Been together 17 years. The tables have turned and the first of the week comig she will be hospitalized indefefinitely due to stress and other med needs. I will me at home. A few here know what stress a caregiver goes through. Her's got her . Please remember her. I will keep a still upper lip and preserve as best I cab. Thanks all and God Bless.
AJ Forgive me typing, I am not so well off ether. Thanks
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Post by jimpadgett on May 29, 2010 22:17:04 GMT 9
Our hearts and prayers will be with you and Lady Debby. Take Care, Jim
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Jim Scanlon (deceased)
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on May 29, 2010 23:56:15 GMT 9
AJ, prayers will continue for you and your Lady Debby.
Jim Too
:god_bless_usa
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Post by Jim on May 29, 2010 23:56:45 GMT 9
Blessins and prayers to you and Debbie...................The Old Sarge
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Bullhunter
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Post by Bullhunter on May 30, 2010 4:29:58 GMT 9
Belinda & I are sorry to hear about your wife going to the hospital. We both have had medical issues and surgeries and need care from the other, but nothing like you & your wife. We wish you both the best, and will pray for you both. God bless to you and your family. Aj, Thanks for sharing with us. Sharing often helps with a bit of stress relief. :god_bless_usa
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Post by Jeff Shannon on May 30, 2010 21:56:58 GMT 9
Prayers lifted up for you and Debby AJ.
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