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Post by Mark O on Jan 26, 2010 6:49:09 GMT 9
Tale #20 Well, here goes! A couple of tales from my KC-135 days. A bit more detail on stories I've mentioned here before. As most of you know, I'm a keen observer of the absurdity in the military. Here's one of my favorite examples. #1 Most of us have heard the cold stories from Grand Forks and Minot. I was up in Grand Forks for 4 years as a KC-135 crew chief. It's not everyone's first choice for an assignment, but I sure did enjoy it when I was there. Between May to August it was no different than anywhere else in the country, and you couldn't beat the fishing. The other eight months of the year were just cold! Most people don't believe me when I tell them that you actually get used to it, the cold that is, but it's true. And the deer hunting? Well, if you couldn't get a deer within a five mile radius of the base, well, you probably shouldn't go hunting to begin with. Working on the flight line during the winter months you learned different tricks to keep things running smoothly. Some things took longer than normal (removing and installing the simplest bolt or screw may take twice the normal time when it's below zero), but we adapted. We would throw ropes under chalks to give us leverage when breaking them from the ice, using chalks to hold B-5 stands from sliding on the ice when the wind was blowing, stuff like that. One of the few things I failed to consider on a very cold, December afternoon were the wheels of a B-5 stand freezing to the ground. We had a slight warm-up after Christmas, then a re-freeze, and that afternoon I was swapping ruddevators off one boom onto another. Easy enough job -- just four screws -- but it is a bit awkward. Instead of using the same B-5 we decided to use another since we'd have to be back to the first boom after we swapped them. As I got out of the truck to hook the stand up to the pintle hook I pulled on the A-frame, and sure enough my feet went out from under me and I hit the frame on my left side. I definitely got the wind knocked out of me, but the pain wasn't too bad. As I was on the ground I remember looking up into the back of the truck watching those guys laugh their tails off at what I just did. After catching my breath, I got up and managed to kick the wheels loose of the ice, and we hooked up the stand. As we started swapping the ruddevators I started feeling the pain. I was the tallest guy out there, and the other guys couldn't quite reach the top screws. Every time I reached up the pain got worse. Remember, this was in December, and what would be a fifteen minute job in August took 45 minutes in December. By the time we got the ruddevators off I couldn't take it anymore. I told the expeditor he better bring me back inside, and I was going to go to the hospital. Well, the pro super heard about it and he wouldn't let me go alone, so he drove me to the hospital. After some x-rays, and an examination the doc told me I had cracked two ribs, and although it hurt then, it would be a lot worse the next night. Boy, was he right! The next day I went to the clinic on base for a follow-up, and was put on a profile. I was also prescribed some pain pills and told not to drive when I took them. I tried one and they weren't kidding! Unfortunately, my wife had just changed her medication and I needed to drive her to work for the next few days. My meds were out of the question. Of course I also had to fill out all sorts of accident reports, safety reports, and Tricare paperwork. The maintenance officer decided to give me a special project in mobility, so at least I was keeping busy. As far as the pain, I discovered those heat wraps for your back, and that seemed to help. Off to my temporary office job! Most of you remember the days in the military when we had daily formations where the first sergeant put out the daily news, and those famous bulliten boards. These days, we call first sergeants "Unicorns." (Everyone has heard of one, but no one has ever seen one!) If you want to get information, you better check your e-mail. I know people who are twenty steps from my office that would rather e-mail me, than get up and tell me in person! So, it had been about a week after the slip on the ice when I got an e-mail from a civilian at the base safety office. He was reviewing my accident/safety reports and needed to follow-up on a specific aspect of the incident. As I recall, his e-mail read something like this. "I am completing the reports on your recent fall and need some additional information. Specifically, what was the surface condition like when you slipped on the ice? Please respond as soon as possible." (Sincerely, blah, blah, blah, Ground Safety Office.) I sure wish I would have printed that e-mail out and saved it! One of my all time favorites! The ribs got better after a couple weeks, but I was able to milk that mobility project for about a month. My ribs didn't really completely heal for about two months. Only in the military! Visual Aid -- Ruddevators on a Boom w/ B-5 stand (for perspective)  Mark (I'll add the other tale later!) |
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Jan 26, 2010 8:27:45 GMT 9
Tale #21 oh man..too funny...of course that one reminded me of my time in purgatory..ie GFAFB... like you it was winter...and I had weekend on call...sure enough I get a call..come into LlASON office cuz we have a bird down...you need to find the part now...so... I drive into the base very slowly. The roads were like an ice rink and the winds were gusting up and then dying down. it took me an hr to drive about 2 miles. Once I arrived to the base and slowly made my way to the Hanger where the helo's were stored. I parked my car on the edge of the ramp. Dressed in my huge fur parka and mukluks, I walked right up to the hanger side door. As I reached out for the door knob, a huge gust of wind blew up against the hanger and blew me (125lbs soaking wet) in my inflated winter parka, all the way back to my car and promptly deposited me on my butt....it was the funniest thing and could only be depicted in a movie if you had seen me slidding backwards with my arms out, screaming at the top of my lungs, until I was dropped onto my butt..... I made it back to the door and this time made it inside the hanger, did my work I was called in for...and left to get back to my car... again....the roads are one gigantic sheet of ice.....I start driving slowly to hanger ave. across from the loading docks to supply, and hit the brakes....that's where my life passed before me.. the brakes locked, as I slid thru the intersection , across the street...down the ramp rapidly approaching the loading docks. All the while I'm a passenger in my 66 mustang. So I figure that maybe I can turn or something. I did manage to get the car sideways and believe it or not, i started to slow down until the car stopped about 6" from the dock....that was my learning how to drive on ice lesson came about... ok..one of them anyway...there were too many to remember but that one stood out in my mind the most...   Steve |
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Post by Mark O on Jan 26, 2010 9:30:55 GMT 9
Tale #22
WARNING! CRAZY LONG POST!!
I decided to add a more recent tale. It’s kind of scary, kind of sneaky, and just a bit strange. I call this essay,
Oh my God! We’ve killed the Colonel!
Earlier this month, about a week and change before we got alerted for Haiti support, I had to attend my three-year, combat survival training (CST) periodic refresher. It’s a locally conducted course taught by USAF SERE instructors here on Dyess. The first day is all classroom training and serves as a refresher for all that stuff they fed us with a fire hose at Fairchild AFB. Good stuff really! I wish I would have had that training years ago. The second day we go out to the Abilene State Park just southwest of Dyess, and get to run around the mesquite and cactus trying to avoid getting captured by our instructors, and any helpers they decide to bring with them. Recently they have brought out the 18-man Abilene PD SWAT team! During my course they brought out four Dyess SPs. Woo! My class got lucky!
Since this was my first CST refresher training I really wasn’t aware how it was conducted, or how many students would be in the class. It turned out there were just three of us; me, a pilot (Captain H.), and a navigator (Colonel M.). The nav was our soon-to-PCS, former Group Commander, a bird colonel! Both of my classmates are very smart guys. I thought I remembered a lot of survival school, but these guys were good! Of course this wasn’t their first refresher, so that helped. Day one went fine. We were released, and told to report back at 1100 hours the next day. The late start would ensure we would get some of the training during the hours of darkness. When we arrived in the training area, the instructors gave us a land navigation exercise. We were issued map and compass, told where to go, and took off. The SPs were included in the scenario as “passengers” on our downed aircraft, and told to evade with us. The instructors followed along frequently stopping us to provide feedback, and additional training.
At one point during the land nav exercise I was on the point and had a very surreal experience. We were crossing a small depression in the terrain, and as I approached the crest of the far side a very large, mature doe ran right at me! I hollered, “GEEZ!” instantly stopping in my tracks as she came sliding to a stop. Her front legs buckled under her chest as she whipped her hind end around bolting off to my left. She literally came within four feet of me! I thought for sure the two of us would collide. Wow! She was gone as quickly as she appeared. I took two more steps then stopped again, turned to Colonel M. who was right behind me, and said, “That was incredible!” We then pressed on to our destination.
Once there our instructors told us we would now conduct the evasion portion of the exercise. My fellow students and I would proceed to a point and await recovery, all while evading the instructors and SP aggressors. Captain H. took the point, and Colonel M. took up the tail. As we progressed Captain H. was moving far too quickly and haphazardly. Colonel M. kept telling me to tell him to slow down, and stay out of the mud as he could see our footprints easily. We reached a small clearing, and I told Captain H. to stop and wait for Colonel M. He arrived breathing heavily still bitching about seeing our footprints. (Ouch!) I remember him saying, “Let’s get into the bush,” and he proceeded to walk into some very dense thickets. I saw a small opening about five yards to his right, so I went into the bush at that point followed by Captain H. Within seconds we lost the Colonel! Captain H. and I spent the next 20 minutes searching for the Colonel. I told Captain H. how heavily Colonel M. was breathing, and I was worried he may have passed out. We were moving fast through some very thick bush. Finally we stopped searching and talked it over. We decided to press on, try to find the instructors, and let them know the Colonel may be hurt. Yes, we even considered that the old man may have croaked! (How embarassing is that?!)
About fifteen minutes later we were stopped, and taking a compass heading when we heard the instructors and SPs about thirty yards from us. As we stood there we saw all six of them walking in a straight line perpendicular to the path we had just travelled. Amazing! (At the debrief they told Captain H. and I they didn't even see us. We saw them the whole time! I'm actually kind of proud of that!) Anyway, we quickly decided to contact them. They were excited to see us; thinking we were giving ourselves up, but we told them the situation with the Colonel. The instructors told us that had never happened before, and told us to continue to the pickup point, and stay in the scenario. The instructors and SPs took off to find the Colonel. When we arrived at the recovery point Captain H. and I discussed how we would be received once the rest of the group discovered we had killed our former commander! I think we were a little dehydrated! Within minutes however, one of the instructors told us they had found the Colonel. He thought the search for him was a ruse, and continued to evade! What a tough old bird! Shortly afterwards, we concluded the exercise, and returned to base.
During the debrief Colonel M. told us when we reached the clearing he actually said, “I’ve got to take a piss.” Captain H. and I had actually gone so far ahead of him we lost each other that way. We never told him about our over active imaginations! During the exercise Captain H. and I got away with being captured by being idiots. The real hard charger was Colonel M.
Mark
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Jim Scanlon (deceased)
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Jan 26, 2010 10:59:50 GMT 9
Tale # 23 Mark's sliding on the ice at Grand Forks reminded me of something we would to at The SCAB. It wasn't unusual to get ice storms there along the Misery River. That meant the ramp was covered with ice and we didn't have too much to do. Couldn't fly, so why not play? One of our brighter thinkers got an idea for having fun on the ice. He gathered up a canopy cover, got a couple more guys to stand, or sit, on one edge of it, hold the other edge in their hands, then lift it up. If the wind was blowing hard enough it would take you for a ride across the ice. The only thing you had to be careful of was getting far enough in front of the parked planes so you wouldn't run in to them. No one ever got hurt. We had lots of fun and no one ever stopped us. The lack of wind was the only thing that stopped us. Man that was fun. I wonder how the bosses would respond to a bunch of troops ice skimming on the flight line if it were now. Jim Too  |
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Post by dude on Jan 29, 2010 14:22:35 GMT 9
Tale # 24  OK Jim. I've been debating telling this one, but you shamed me into it. So here's #3 from me. Advanced warning to any lady readers with heightened sensibilities.This is another Tyndal TDY story. (Why did all the really weird stuff always happen at Tyndal?) Well no matter. The squadron's down there doing live fire or whatever and we're put up in the TDY barracks; two to a room. My roommate was a young buck whom I have chosen to refer to as "Horndog". Now that's an honest reference because ole Horndog had the reputation of ... well put it this way... if it had two Y chromosomes to rub together, he'd be on it like a wet blanket. Anyway, about the second day down there one of our swing shift troops is out walking along the beach one morning and comes across this nice sized conche shell that still had the remains of the dead animal in it... meaning it smelled to high heaven. For some reason still not understood by psychologists today, this troop decides to scoop it up and carry it back to the barracks. Further, he decides that it would be one heck of a great joke to put it in his roommates bunk. Now I will not divulge his AFSC, because you've probably already deduced that if your going to put a grimy fishy smelly ole conche in someone's bed, it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out that picking a bed in the same room where you are also bunking would not be a good first choice. Over the next few days the conche made its rounds through the barracks and it was not unusual to hear someone coming off shift expressing a myriad of colorful metaphors upon discovery that he had been singled out for the honary duty of bunking with the conche. So there I am on the fateful night...off shift and heading to the room. I open the door, the room is pitch black, and all of a sudden the most god-awful rotten dead fish smell just hits me in the face like a hammer! My reaction was predictable. I shouted at the top of my lungs, " J___C___! I am going to get the MF SOB that put this G__D--- conche in my M__F___ bunk!" I was totally and irrevocably PISSED! Note to Self: Next time turn the light on FIRST! With the light on, two things are now blatantly apparent. First and foremost, there is no conche in my room. Second, Horndog is there and he's got a visitor and it is now obvious that she is the source of shall we say... my discomfort. Well she's got the deer in the headlights look like she's about to start crying, he's smiling like a jackass, and I'm doing a pretty decent impression of Porky Pig (ba dee ba dee ba dee) as I back out of the room and close the door. So there I am standing out on the sidewalk with no place to go when all of a sudden she comes pouring half dressed out of the window. (Why the window, when the room was only ten feet from the door I will never know. ) But she sees me standing there and I guess she thinks I'm going to turn her in or something because she comes up to me and says, "If you don't tell anyone, I'll do you like I did him." Now I'm not usually known for snappy come backs, but I guess being the good Catholic boy that I am coupled with the fact that I couldn't get that smell out of my brain gave me an immediate answer, "No thanks. I don't even like eating that stuff on Fridays." |
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Post by Bullhunter on Jan 29, 2010 14:35:11 GMT 9
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Post by Jeff Shannon on Jan 29, 2010 14:59:27 GMT 9
Tale #25 My first TDY was to Aviano Italy with the 81st TFW out of Bentwaters/Woodbridge UK. We were flying F-4D’s. Anyway one Friday night a bunch of us went to the club on base. They had put us up at a hotel just past the flight line. Having just turned 18 this TDY was like a birthday present from the Air Force, a trip to Italy!!  We were at the club most of the night and time came to catch the last bus back to the hotel. Now they didn’t park the buses anywhere near the club and we all had to walk a couple of blocks to where they were. We arrive at the designated area and the bus driver said the bus won’t start and he had called base motor pool for another bus and a tow truck. Were all standing around waiting for the bus when Tom says he has to go to the bathroom, and starts off towards a dorm. About 3 minutes go by and all of a sudden we see flashing lights and think “well the tow truck is here, where is the other bus?” turns out it was Law Enforcement (LE’s) there was 3 cars all heading towards the dorm Tom went to. It seems Tom had gone into a Female dorm. Tom said later he went in saw the sign on the door for the bathroom and went into the stall and did his thing. He said as he was standing there he heard the shower running and thought he would jump in real quick. (Remember alcohol is involved) [image] So he strips down and hops into the big communal shower, much to the surprise of the female already in there!!, she screamed, he screamed and someone call the police! The next day the commander and the 1st shirt called the rest of us up the hanger and asked us why we didn’t go into the dorm to use the bathroom and get Tom out of there, I remember saying something like I went before we left the club or something like that. One guy looked the commander in the eye and said “Sir I’m not going to lie to you, I was so drunk these fellas helped me walk to the bus stop, I didn’t see a dorm so I just peed on the tree next to the bus”.  The next Friday night the bus was parked in front of the club and the driver asked if you went to the bathroom before you got on! |
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Post by Jim on Jan 30, 2010 1:29:42 GMT 9
After dude's tale, I couldn't resist telling what happened to me in Sept 69 at Willie Airplane Patch, Az...... Newly divorced I was at a bar called the Lost Alaskan having a beer and talking to the pretty good looking lady that was on my right when this GI comes up and sits down on the stool next to her and buys her a drink. We have a bit of a 3 way conversation going on when this guy says "Boy, I sure would like to get into your pants." She instantaneously replies " I don't know what to hell for, there is already one A-hole in there!" Well I blurt out a mouthfull of beer and laughing so hard I fall off the stool.............. She is laughing so hard that she can barely help me up off the floor........... This guy is so pissed or embarrassed, (or both), that he leaves his change from a 20.00 bill on the bar...... She said, we might as well drink on him, so we finished off his change and decide to go get something to eat.... We get outside and she said your car or mine, I said " my car is a motorcycle"........." I never rode on a motorcycle before, lets ride the bike". I said "how are you going ride in that miniskirt?" Simple she said, and took it off....... I got to see that skirt come off 2 more times that night............................... This is my thread, so I can relate a tale here ifn I want... The Old Sarge
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Jan 30, 2010 3:14:27 GMT 9
Tale #26 oh man...too funny.... my experience with alchohol on several occasions haven't been pretty.... I had just turned 21 and another one of our troops was having a b-day...I was stationed at Hamilton AFB which is 22 mi north of San Francisco... it was friday and several of us had decided to hit downtown SFO for some partying to celebrate the newbies 21st b-day. We got off work and instantly hit the barracks to change and head downtown for some serious I and I...(intoxication and intercourse), if we could score. We started on one side of broadway and polk streets and headed down the other stopping at just about every place we could get in. One place we hit was a place called Phinoccio's, which at the time we didn't know was a female impersonation establishment. Now by the time we hit this place, most of us were pretty plowed and one guy...a staff sgt named Duffy was especially hammered and getting pretty amorous. When we entered the place we were greeted by (what we thought at the time) was some outstanding looking women ( a bit too much makeup for me) that escorted us down to a few tables...Duffy is playing grab a$$ with one and starts putting the moves on the sh#t(she/he/it...I didn't know what to classify it.).... anyways...Duffy is trying to make time...and for some reason ...(still can't fathom why it came to me) but I noticed that one of the girls duff was making time with had an adams apple!!... well..I leaned over at duffy and said "Hey..that girls a guy!!.." duffy gave me that stupid look that can only be experienced with disbelief and said WHAT THE f#CK??...reached down and grabbed a handful of crotch only to find it was bent backwards somehow!!...AND THE FIGHT WAS ON!!...the next thing I know is about 4 huge gorilla shaped guys came from no where ..there was screaming from every direction....Duffy and all of us were unceremoniously thrown physically out of the bar faster than we could swing a fist!!...took us about 2 hrs to calm Duffy down and then he never could live it down...DUFFY WAS KISSING A GUY!!!......everytime he'd get a little southern tennessee bravado going....we'd just go and make the kissing sound several times and the fight was on.....I can laugh about it now but then I'd never been in a bar fight....... True story.....wonder what ever happened to duff?  ?...... Steve |
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Post by dude on Jan 30, 2010 6:58:55 GMT 9
I believe I may have created a monster. Jim, your gal's comeback line has to go down as one of the all time greats.  Steve, best guess is ole Duff is happily married living in Oregon about to celebrate his 25th aniversary with.... Phil.
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Jan 30, 2010 7:32:30 GMT 9
I believe I may have created a monster. Jim, your gal's comeback line has to go down as one of the all time greats. Steve, best guess is ole Duff is happily married living in Oregon about to celebrate his 25th aniversary with.... Phil.  hope he didn't go up and make a Broke back mtn!! Steve |
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Post by Jim on Feb 3, 2010 1:05:47 GMT 9
SAY HEY, 2nd of Feb and 12 writers and only 27 tales ;D ;D ;D ;D....
Contest ends at midnight Mountain Std Time 15 FEB..........................Clocks are about finished- need dryer weather to apply the lacquer finish...............
The Old Sarge
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Post by lugnuts55 on Feb 3, 2010 12:12:42 GMT 9
Tale #27
By now everyone knows it is cold at Minot in the winter. It may not be the coldest place on earth, but it's the coldest place on earth that I've ever been.
Winters at Minot were indeed an experience. I was born and raised in Wisconsin so I didn't think it could be much different. WRONG. I had never experienced such bitter cold. We were issued all the cold weather clothing we could wish for but working on the flightline with those elbow-length mittens was impossible. Instead, I think I wore out about a pair of gloves a month. I was thankful for the muk-luks. I used up several pair of those. And why was the only airplane on the flying schedule the only one outside. It never was one of the sixes parked in the revetment. I don't remember what they were called, so I'll say revetment. The flight shack was an old house trailer. Boy, that was really insulated well. It was warmer than outside though and that's what mattered.
The winter of '70-'71, somebody thought it would be great fun to try a different kind of work shift. Instead of three 8 hour shifts, let's try four. Swings and mids were unchanged. Day shift was broken into two shifts. The early shift went 0400-1200 and late shift went 1200-2000. I was on the early shift so I was up at 0300 to s**t, shower, and shave. Got to work at 0400, got the flying schedule and did the preflight. By the time that was done, the chow hall was open. I think they had the best food at that chow hall. We were hungry as hell so maybe anything would have tasted good but they did have some good food. The sos was especially good when it was fresh. And it was fresh when we got there. I got three eggs over easy right on top of the sos with a side of bacon or sausage. Man, that hit the spot. Then it was back to the line for launch.
The shift seemed to go quickly because we were done at noon. The problem was when your buddy was on the other shift and you had nothing to do in the afternoon. Remember, this was winter. They started this great experiment on January 1 and ended it at the end of March. I came very close to becoming an alcoholic during those months. Winters in North Dakota were very much like the arctic in terms of daylight. The sun rose about 0800 and set around 1500. At least that's what it seemed like. There was very limited daylight in the winter. Maybe that was so we could see the Northern Lights better.
I just know it was damn cold and the wind was relentless. They said it never snowed in North Dakota. The snow was blowing in from Montana. And I'm sure you heard that the wind didn't blow, it sucked. The state bird is a mosquito and the state tree is a telephone pole. Did anybody see a jackalope? The one over the bar in Ruthville doesn't count.
Winter at Minot. My roomate and one of our buddies had motorcycles. We were sitting around one Saturday and Norm says he'd love to go for a ride. It was one of the warmer days...only 19 below. Well guess what we did. We went for a bike ride. I have pictures of it because I knew no one would believe me. We only stayed out a couple hours, but it was a good time. We didn't get frostbite either. Thank goodness for the winter weather gear.
That winter, the first three weeks didn't get above minus 10 degrees. When the cold snap broke and it got to zero and then 10 above, we were walking around with our parkas open. Talk about balmy.
As it turned out, that was the only winter I spent there. I didn't join the AF to see North Dakota. I wanted to see some of the world. And the war was still going on in Vietnam. I heard so many great stories about Southeast Asia that I wanted to get some of my own. I put in for Thailand and Vietnam. I got Thailand and left Minot in August '71. I didn't know it at the time, but I left with some great stories of Minot AFB, ND. I just wish I could remember more of them.
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Feb 3, 2010 12:54:10 GMT 9
Tale # 28
Pardon me if I change services for a minute....date was 1986 in the summer I think...
I was working for Ingalls shipbuilding and drydock company in mississippi and was sent with a shipcheck team to Norfolk va. to check the USS Kidd. A destroyer of the Kidd class that was originally supposed to go to the Sha of Iran before his regime fell to the Iatolla. The US Navy kept them when he fell.
The Kidd class destroyers are some really capable destroyers that was coming up on their midlife Overhaul. We arrived and started the job of checking drawings against as built conditions...now these are really big ships...550 ft long....65ft beam...4 jet engines drive them tied thru 2 shafts....
well...I figured after our first day of climbing all over this huge ship, I needed to relieve some stress....so..I went to the gym at the hotel....one of my first mistakes.
I'd figured I was in pretty good shape concidering and this shouldn't be too bad of a work out, so I concentrated on my abs....but...lower back..legs.....
next morning I woke up for breakfast and couldn't move....my body felt like someone had ballpene hammered it from head to foot....litterally I had to roll out onto the floor to get out of bed...I made it to the shower and put as much heat on that I could....now ...imagine if you will your about 90 yrs old....nothing is moving and rigamortise has set in.......that was me....
we got to the ship and I managed to loosen up enough to walk across the brow with my drawings for the day and my flashlight....this morning was the aft magazine....which I had to climb up 2 decks, and down about 6 decks....the magazine is all the way at the bottom of the boat......which I found out really quickly my body had stifffened up again....
every step up was beyond painful....the step down was just as painful but in different parts...I didn't know I had those muscles before...
well..I made it down to the magazine and where the loader was located....when I started my check...I had stumbled onto a pallet and load of canvas bags, fell on my back...and that was it....I was stuck there...couldn't move...my body had locked up and I was stuck on my back at the bottom of a ship!!!......
stayed there for about 6 hrs till somebody came looking for me....there I was sprawled out like a dead rat, and these hillbillies were laughing their butts off that I was stuck there not able to move....
they got me upright, and helped me move up the 6 flights of near vertical stairs......went back to the hotel and got a good bottle of canadian whiskey...a hot tub....and about 6 tylenol for the nite....next day I was still sore but not enough to keep me off the mast of the ship..
that's my story...and I'm sticking with it..
Steve
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Feb 5, 2010 11:04:53 GMT 9
Well???....what's the verdict there judges??...did I loose??(which it's a probable )
who won the coveted trophy???..
Steve
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Post by Jim on Feb 5, 2010 11:11:03 GMT 9
SAY HEY, 2nd of Feb and 12 writers and only 27 tales ;D ;D ;D ;D.... Contest ends at midnight Mountain Std Time 15 FEB......... Clocks are about finished- need dryer weather to apply the lacquer finish...... The Old Sarge FOR STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE QUOTE!!!!!! |
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Post by steve201 (deceased) on Feb 5, 2010 12:27:16 GMT 9
ah....for some reason I was thinking it was the 2nd feb....I got more time to think up some more lies...um......stories....yeah....that's it....stories from the past..to post...
thanks
Steve
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Post by daoleguy A.J. Hoehn (deceased) on Feb 6, 2010 8:23:22 GMT 9
Interesting event here. I'll have to read the "Tales" BTW Sarge, great awards. Good luck to entrants. AJ |
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Jim Scanlon (deceased)
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Feb 6, 2010 8:52:26 GMT 9
:snowman
AJ, it looks like you are going to have more snow around the Federal City this weekend than anyone wants.
Keep warm and enjoy the white stuff through the window glass.
Jim Too
:god_bless_usa
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Post by Jim on Feb 11, 2010 1:40:59 GMT 9
Tale #29
I have moved dude's tale to this thread and counts as a tall tale....
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About six of us formed a Cub Scout pack The only one in town. One of the scout's mother volunteered to be the pack leader. By the time we made it through and was ready to move on to boyscouts, she suddenly left town with children in tow.
Always wondered if it was something we said.
Years later my son started boyscouts and went through the same drill. Dad enjoyed helping on the little competitive balsa projects. Let's see: one year it was a car, one year a rocket ship, etc. His entries always looked pristine.
His last year they did the rocket ship again and junior informed me that this time he wanted to do this one all by himself. Hey no problem. Been waitin for you to say that. So off he goes to build his entry in "secret".
The night before the competition he brings it out and shows Mom and Dad his pride and joy. Both Mom and Dad had the same look of shock. This thing looked like it came right out of a mail order porn magazine. It was even painted brown and slightly curved. I'm thinking "There ain't no way in h__ I'm showing up with this thing." But Mom prevailed in support and so we sucked it up and went.
For those who don't know the "rocket ship" had a wind-up propeller on the front powered by a rubber band that ran internal the length of the fuselage. The whole thing rode along a 20 foot string via a little carriage at the top.
Sooo,,,, there we are looking at all these beautiful rocketships (that every scout's dad had made), sitting on the table in front of the judges...and then junior presents his lust mobile. After a few "Oh my's ...." followed by a sworn affadavid that Dad had nothing to do with it, junior proudly placed his entry next to the others.
The competition started as they raced two at a time in a double elimination tournament. All the runs were pretty close with one ship beating another no more than maybe a foot or two. Junior was in the 6th heat. I'm thinking, "Ok we let him run his two races, get beat and then we can shove that thing back in the paper bag it rode in on and get the hell out of here." So he winds up his propeller and hands it to the judge who mounts it to the carriage on the string.
I kid you not...when they released the ships, junior's reacted like it had been shot out of a cannon. I mean it not only beat the other ship, it creamed him by half the length of the run. Everybody is kind of looking around at each other wondering what just happened. Of course junior was just pleased as punch and quickly ran to the end of the line for the next run.
Heat two and all the successive heats the same thing happened again. He not only wins, his bludgeon special literally waxes the floor with all these neat looking ships. No one gets within eight or ten feet of him and he wins the first place trophy going away.
Of course when it came time for the picture for the paper, there was some fast talking to keep the you know what out of the photo.
If there's a moral to this story, I don't know what it is. Maybe something like, "Sometimes its better to handle things yourself."?
Edited to reflect Cub Scouts and will post in the TallTales Thread- The Old Sarge
If I get time, I may go to Scariest moments and move some here, BUT, you can to the same thing by Copying and Pasting
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OK Jim. I've been debating telling this one, but you shamed me into it. So here's #3 from me. 
We were at the club most of the night and time came to catch the last bus back to the hotel. Now they didn’t park the buses anywhere near the club and we all had to walk a couple of blocks to where they were. We arrive at the designated area and the bus driver said the bus won’t start and he had called base motor pool for another bus and a tow truck. Were all standing around waiting for the bus when Tom says he has to go to the bathroom, and starts off towards a dorm.
The next Friday night the bus was parked in front of the club and the driver asked if you went to the bathroom before you got on! 
?......
