TALL TALES II CONTEST (Read 22,390 times)

Excellet idea Jim,,,I'm in.



You are #1

Crazy Forward Air Control Mission (True Story) Tale #1
By Bullhunter

During the year 1980 while assigned to Sembach Air Base, West Germany I was deployed to a small German Air Base in northern Germany near the town of Flensburg.
We were deployed with 4 aircraft (OV-10A Bronco’s,) in support of a multinational military exercise. For this deployment, and to maintain and service the aircraft, just four of us maintenance personnel were sent. The maintenance team was made up of an Aircraft Crew Chief (MSgt), Jet Engine Technician (TSgt - myself), Com/Nav Technician (SSgt), and a Hydraulics Mechanic (SSgt). The pilot in charge of the deployment was a Major who I had flown with on several other occasions, and he liked getting maintenance troops to fly when the back seat co-pilot’s position was empty. So, I knew the 4 of us would be getting some flight hours if we wanted.

During our two weeks I went on several Forward Air Control Missions, but this mission I remember quite well, as it was crazy, and scared the crap out of me.
I remember the night before the mission, the major telling me he was flying the 1st mission that day and there would be no copilot in the back seat, so he ask if I’d like to fly along with him. I did not need to be asked twice, and I responded, “Yes sir!” I then said, “That’s if Master Sergeant Capps gives me his OK.” Which he did.

The next morning I met the Major out at our aircraft and I collected my flight gear. We did the aircraft walk-around preflight inspection and the regular flight safety briefing. That is when we talked about what we would do in case of in-flight emergencies, etc. The major briefed “We will be flying under 10,000 feet so keep the zero delay opening cord hooked to the parachute, and if we need to eject for any reason I will say eject, eject, and you pull your ejection d-ring and go – if you hesitate waiting to here a 3rd eject you will be by yourself, because I will be gone” as he laughed. I’d heard this safety joke on our previous flights, so I laughed along with him. We checked over the aircraft forms for any write ups and then strapped into the ejection seats.

It was a beautiful day to fly, a nice crisp morning with scattered clouds in a blue sky. We started our two turbo-prop engines, one of my maintenance co-workers pulled the wheel chocks, the pilot got clearance, and we taxied out to the end of the runway. The Pilot again got clearance from the tower and pushed the engine throttles forward and the props bit into the air, and down the runway we went and lifted off.

We climbed to about 4,000 or 5,000 feet and headed for the target area. Our mission was to orbit close to the target area (convoy of trucks and tanks) and to make radio contact with a British Forward Air Control Commando who was hidden in the brush spying on the convoy. He would radio us information on targets and anti-aircraft threats to pass on to our NATO strike aircraft that would simulate bombing and strafing the area.

The Major made radio contact with the British Commando and we set up an orbit at 5,000 feet above a lake. As the British (FAC) passed target data to the Major he was writing it down on his side canopy with a grease pencil, then he’d contact inbound strike aircraft requesting types of (simulated) ordinance and instructing them on the location of their specific targets. I was in awe at the smooth operation of how it was all going, radio communications from the British (FAC) to us, and then us sending it all to the strike aircraft; and I had a ringside seat above it all. I watched and listened as the radio chattered and I watched the strike aircraft pass below us and around us on their way to the assigned targets. There were F-4 Phantom’s, F-15 Eagles, and a few other aircraft I couldn’t make out flown by the British Royal Air Force.

I was having a good time watching the coordinated air action and was thinking that I should have brought my camera. Then it happened, I heard the Major say to me over the intercom “Gary, take the control stick and keep us at 5,000 feet and orbit the lake. Fast moving strike aircraft expect us over the lake and at 5,000 feet. Their altitudes are about 2,000 to 3,500 feet and we don’t want to get in their way and have a midair.” I was thinking to myself “NO FOOLING!” The major then added, “We usually have two pilots up here doing this.”

So, I took the flight control stick as the tempo of the air strikes and radio communications increased. I circled the lake and kept my eyes on the altimeter and the altimete’s foot marker.
As I listened to the action I heard some inbound F-15’s going to do a strafing run over the target so I kept one eye on the altimeter and the other looking for the inbound F-15’s. They were fairly easy to spot, they were painted gray and flying over a forest of green. I picked two of them out in the distance and watched them, all the while checking our altimeter.

The major was really busy in the front seat running the air strikes and I could see how flying at the same time might be over burdening. Then I heard the Major say, “Gary, stay over the lake.” I glanced at the altimeter and we were at our desired altitude and then I glanced down and noticed we were about to pass over the lakeshore. For what seemed an hour I’d been flying wide easy circles around the lake and making some figure 8’s over the lake, so we were not always turning the same way, and I had flown it all smoothly.

Now it was time to make a quicker turn to keep us over the lake, so I pushed the control stick to the right and started a right turn bank, but it was kind of slow, so I pulled back on the control stick some more to tighten our turn. I was watching for other air traffic while banking and noticed the major writing on the side canopy glass with his black grease pencil again, when all of a sudden his grease pencil skipped across the canopy glass leaving a long black grease pencil streak. The major laughed and said, “Gary watch the g’s (g-forces) - makes it hard to write.” I replied, “Sorry, yes sir” as I completed our turn and leveled the wings.

I flew for about another 15 to 20 minutes when the radio squawked an in-flight emergency. A German Air Force F-4 jet suffered a bird strike during an attack run and the bird came through the jets windscreen glass and injured the pilot. The co-pilot WSO (Weapons Systom Officer) was now flying the German F-4 to an emergency landing.

A few minutes later all fast moving jet fighters were directed out of the area due to bird warnings and it was just us in our OV-10A Bronco. Our aircraft normally flew around at about 175 – 200 MPH or less so I figured a bird impact wouldn’t be too much of a threat to us. Besides we were at 5,000 feet.

Then a request came over the radio from command authority someplace requesting us to switch from FAC to STRIKE aircraft so the military exercise could continue. The major replied over the radio that we would fly strike against the target. He then asked me over the intercom if I was having a good time. I replied something like “Heck ya!”, and he said “We’re about to have a lot more, we’re strike aircraft now.” I still had that in-flight emergency radio call in my mind and the injured pilot of the German jet.

Our aircraft banked and dove toward the convoy. We were talking with the British FAC commando as we swooped down over the top of the convoy just above the treetops. We didn’t make the noise the jets did but our aircraft was equipped with a smoke generator which was used to leave a smoke trail in the sky for the fighter-bombers to follow to a target. The system consisted of an oil tank, pump, tube that stuck into engine exhaust tailpipe, and a switch. On our next pass the major said, “We’ll dump smoke on them and make it a little more realistic for the ground troops.”

So, on our next pass as we buzzed down the convoy the major hit the smoke generator switch and white smoke dumped over the convoy and then settled. We made several attack runs and then banked sharply left or right which gave me a great view or the convoy. I was wondering if the troops on the ground were cursing us.

Then the major said something about giving them a little air show. He said, “We’re going to do a loop above them.” I was wondering how much more fun I could take?

With our aircraft diving and gaining airspeed we passed over the convoy again, but instead of banking left or right we climbed and climbed for altitude for our loop. Once on top with enough altitude our aircraft was upside down and the major pulled our aircraft down toward the convoy.

As we were inverted and diving down toward the convoy and ground I heard over the intercom a statement that sent chills throughout my body, “We have too much airspeed and not enough altitude to complete the loop!” At that second every hair on my body stood up at attention. My mind kicked into overdrive like a computer – “too fast, not enough altitude, equals crash! Ejection seat shoots you out and back away from the props – out and back when you are pointing at the ground equals out and up! Out and up is very, very good!”

So, at this point expecting we were in deep trouble and on our way to a gruesome ground impact, my mind wanted to survive, and was saying to me “Oh God, bail out, bail out, eject before it’s too late.” I grabbed the ejection ring with one hand and the other hand hit the intercom mic button and I said.
“EJECT, EJECT!” I bet at that very second every hair on the major’s body stood up also as he replied, “Don’t! Stay with it!”

We were still in the upper part of the loop, but headed down in that dive when the major flipped the aircraft right side up into what I believe pilots call a cubin-eight maneuver. At this point in our downward flight things looked a bit more improved, but all I could see was allot of green out in front of us, and a battle of the mind was going on in my head. My mind was saying to me, “Eject, Stay, Eject, Stay,” over and over and I still had my hand on the ejection d-ring.

At this point the aircraft banked a little to the right and as the pilot pulled back on the flight controls my buttocks sunk deep into the ejection seat cushion, my arms felt heavy, and my body sagged from the G-Forces. Our aircraft started to climb and gain altitude and I saw blue sky once again. We had come so close to a ground impact! The trees started to get smaller and I started to relax a little.

It was at this time I heard that British Commando call us over the radio and say, “Jolly good yank, bloody good show!” in his strong English accent.

We continued to fly over the convoy for another 15 or 20 minutes then we hit bingo fuel and we had to RTB (Return to Base).

This deployment had me away from home about 10 or 12 days. It was mixed with fun, excitement, and a little danger.

This story is one out of my book, I did a bit of editing. Those of you who have my book will notice two new sentances. If you do not know what an OV-10A Bronco is, I posted a photo below.

Tale #2:-[ We were scheduled for a night exercise. We had 12 darts ready that
afternoon for the big evening show. Six on Able row and six on Charlie, with four T-33s sitting on Baker row (you'll understand why this is important in a minute).

The exercise was suppose to start with the first blare of the horn on the ops building, when the first pilot (the commander) would run out to his plane parked on Able 1 and fire it up. A minute later the horn would go off again and the next pilot would run out to Able 2 and so on through Able row and then Charlie row. So with the MA-1 time-in factored in, the aircraft were suppose to break chocks in sequence about a minute apart. At least that's what was suppose to happen.....

So the horn goes off and instead EVERYBODY comes running out of the ops building at the same time, jumps in their planes and ALL start up and start timing in. Now our commander wore glasses for take-offs and landings. So he breaks chocks and starts to taxi and as luck would have it one of the lenses in his glasses pops out. So he radios back to Ops that he's coming back in to Able 1 and needs someone to run his other pair of glasses out to him....

Unfortunately, as soon as he went by Able 2, that pilot taxied and got behind him. And of course Able 3 followed 2, as did 4, etc. etc.

Evidently when the commander came back to his spot, Able 2 was bearing down on him and he decided that slapping on the breaks and letting another six do a sigmoidoscopy on you would not be a career maker. So he decided to go around again...

As he turned off Able row for the second time, he looked down Baker and realized that he couldn't turn back down towards Able because the guys on Charlie row were now in the act and falling in behing the Able row sixes. Soooooo..... he continued past Baker row, turned down Charlie row and got behind Charlie 6.

At this point we have a completed merry-go-round of 12 F-106s going nowhere fast because when he gets back to his spot, he's still got the same problem as before and evidently no one ever heard of a radio. (Exercise integrity?)

Now I'm working the avionics board in job control during this mess and the three of us are hearing all this chatter on the maintenance radio and absolutely none of it is making any sense until the senior controller lines all the aircraft magnets up on the board; and when we see it, all three of us just bust out laughing at the same time...

Finally, after another round or so, somebody (probably the commander), gets PO'd and calls the whole thing off. So they all shut their planes down wherever they were. Crew chiefs got them ladders and they all climbed out and walked back to ops without saying a word. FMS spent the rest of the night towing the birds back to their parking spots.

That was the last time our commander flew without a spare pair of glasses.

Great idea Jim, yes I'm in. And lets also accept Pat P's offer as a judge, so that makes 3.

Woops! This Delta Dart Idol contest needs just 3 judges so Pat McGee, the Old Sarge and MArv Donnelly make a perfect trifecta for the Tall Tales Contest.

I just found out that I'll be visiting the Forum less frequently over the next 7 months due to some projects that will take a lot of time. But every "Idol" contest needs a "barker" so I'll try to fill that role when I visit.

It looks like Bullhunter and dude are out of the chocks first and racing out of the alert barn. Bull's FAC Mission and dude's Dart Merry-Go-Round stories are fine performances and well written. Who will challenge them to become the next Delta Dart Idol?

There are millions of stories out there among our forum members and no matter how hesitant you might be that yours is not that good, remember this... the art is in the telling of the tale, not so much the content of the story.

As a case in point read this recap of 2009 by Dave Barry. His humorous writing style makes even the simplest stories memorable.
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/18/AR2009121802219.html

Here's the print version so you don't have to flip through 5 pages:
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/18/AR2009121802219_pf.html

Who will be the next entry? Will AJ play in this contest? I have seen some mighty good stories written here over the last 10 years by a lot of different folks so let's see what you can do!

Pat P.

:patties_day

As many as you can remember......... Contest begins after the 10th contestant logs in and ends 30 days later.....................



3 story lilit per bull hunters suggestion

OK 3 it be, forgot about you prolific writers...........

Come on you guys that were tired of political talk, etc, need 5 more guys to sign up before I go down stairs to my shop and start sortin thru various woods to make clocks and hand machining 106 silhouettes out of aircraft aluminumn................ Being as how the average one of these clocks takes 12-14 hours to make, I would sure like to see a bit more interest...........................................

ok...I guess I'll give it a try....not sure what the heck I'll talk about....but hey...I'm sure something will pop into my two little braincells. ;D...what do we win??

Steve


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