Jim Scanlon (deceased)
Senior Staff
FORUM CHAPLAIN
Commander South Texas outpost of the County Sligo Squadron
Currently: Offline
Posts: 5,075
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Joined: July 2007
Retired: USAF NBA: Spurs NFL: Niners MLB: Giants NHL: Penguins
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Oct 8, 2013 23:54:28 GMT 9
Don't Mess with Mom
My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He'd decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today, The "Children's Bill of Rights."
It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair. No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, and get tattoos from head to toes.
And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with the crime. I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use, not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals, like your mama did to you. That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me, or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S.D. "
Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door But the chance to teach a lesson made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.
The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D., who said they didn't care if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
And I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test. The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best. "
I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.
Just save that raging appetite, and wait 'til dinner time. We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.
He asked "Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?" "Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead. The C.S.D. requires just a roof above your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the "Parent's Bill of Rights", It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying, and why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D.?
Received from Joke of the Week.
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Post by Jim on Oct 9, 2013 0:51:21 GMT 9
Jim Too, that really isn't a joke here in Payson, AZ... Grand parents who are raising 2 teenage TWIN boys (mom is a tramp and the father is in and out of jail like it has a revolving door) put this into affect. And when the kids objected, they were told that the rules had changed and that if they didn't like it, that they could go to Child Protective Services and they would find a foster home for them. The kids decided that they might be better off changing their attitudes, seeing as how grammy and grampa weren't going to change theirs. Must have worked, the kids are seniors, on the football team and in the National Honor Society.........I remember when my grandson was living with us (11 years) and he came home and told us what his teacher had told the class about discipline at home and what was acceptable and what wasn't and threatened his grandmother with telling his teacher.. I grabbed a trash bag and stuffed it with what he had brought with him and said that he could live with his mother if he didn't want to abide by our rules. Today he is 32 years old and has a daughter of his own and 2 step daughters. It is amazing to see how he disciplines those girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Granpa wasn't such a hard ass after all....
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