Jim Scanlon (deceased)
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Jun 26, 2012 9:12:02 GMT 9
This one has been around the block a few times, but still funny.
No, Gates didn't say it, nor did Ford, GM or ChryFiat respond. ----------------------------------------------------------------
Windows vs. Ford
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash..........twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7...... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9........ Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
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Post by Mark O on Jun 26, 2012 10:17:35 GMT 9
10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off. They got this one right! At least most car comanies are putting the word "STOP" on the same button! This is a feature that many of my customers insist on having, by the way.
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Post by Diamondback on Jun 26, 2012 16:19:19 GMT 9
Why "Engine Start/Stop?" I could do it more efficiently with one word: "POWER"
For example, see the 1982 Knight Industries Model 2000... LOL
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MOW
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Post by MOW on Jun 26, 2012 19:16:16 GMT 9
Lexus But I still like my key Attachments:
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Post by ma1marv on Jun 26, 2012 21:15:41 GMT 9
I think a simple center spring loaded toggle switch would be just fine! MArv
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Post by Tom Dlugosh on Jun 27, 2012 1:32:56 GMT 9
How about a button on the floor? Oh, thats already been tried!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2012 3:53:47 GMT 9
WHAT'S OLD IS NEW!!!
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MOW
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Post by MOW on Jun 27, 2012 6:28:53 GMT 9
How about a button on the floor? Oh, thats already been tried! Oh, and with a push button transmission.... Damn that's been done too.
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Jim Scanlon (deceased)
Senior Staff
FORUM CHAPLAIN
Commander South Texas outpost of the County Sligo Squadron
Currently: Offline
Posts: 5,075
Location:
Joined: July 2007
Retired: USAF NBA: Spurs NFL: Niners MLB: Giants NHL: Penguins
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Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Jun 27, 2012 8:18:38 GMT 9
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I have driven or knew of cars with the button to the left of the clutch pedal on the floor, one you had to push the clutch pedal to hit the button, one had the button under the top of the gas pedal but it wouldn't engage if he car was not in Neutral on the auto-shift lever or the cluth pedal pushed to the floor, one automatic you had to put in in Neutral, then pull the shift lever toward you, had one with no key, just an ignition switch and a push button on the dash (it also had a spark advance lever and throttle on the steering wheel), there were cars with push buttons on the end of the gear shift the engaged the starter.
Prior to the days of a Park position on the auto-shifter, it was possible to start some automatics with the car in gear, just like on a manual tranny.
Seems automobile manufacturers are always trying something "new" and "improved", to sell, or confuse the public.
The past three cars I have had, all had/have remote start.
Nice feature in the hot Texas parking lots, or in cold North Dakota parking lots.
I remember when you paid big bucks to get a remote starter installed on a car, now lots come with them as standard equipment.
I never had an Edsel with the push button transmission controls in the middle of the steering wheel, but did own a Chrysler with the buttons on the left side of the dash.
There are some cars built, maybe not one we could buy, that have voice control starting and all the other stuff.
Kind of James Bond-like, isn't it?
MOW, I understand Hyundai is making a Korea only car that has so many bells and whistles on it, you almost need an engineering degree to drive it. Some kind of ultra-luxury set of wheels.
Have you seen them?
However, when I look back at the cars we were predicted to be driving by car and science magazines back in the Fifties, I don't see much of what they predicted.
I also made it to some car shows, complete with the cars of the future.
Very little carryover.
GM had Futurama, with lots of great ideas, but no production.
The other car companies did the same thing.
As a kid, the most futuristic car I saw was the Tucker.
That was when Preston Tucker brought a car to San Francisco and showed it to the public for several days at a dealer, and on the street on Van Ness Avenue, Auto Row.
I guess Buck Rogers and the Jetsons will have to keep them.
Jim Too
:god_bless_usa
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