Here's a bunch at one time, saves the number of posts.
DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland .
They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the
sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking,
and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away
... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says
'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
??'
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it
for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and
asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away
my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on
the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts,
'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down
the= river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left
shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her
elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside A speeding car
on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded
to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what?
We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!'
said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night...
It was her turn She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in
a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'!
Actually got these from my blonde sister-in-law. She's cute and resembles Goldie Hawn, and has a great sense of humor.
??'
