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Post by tinwolf on Jul 5, 2011 21:50:39 GMT 9
A brand new store has just opened in New York City which sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: - ’you may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. To avoid charges of gender bias, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The 1st floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money. The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2011 1:14:10 GMT 9
there's a link for jokes, this should be there. you shouldnt be starting a new thread everytime you want to say something,
i m h o
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Post by tinwolf on Jul 6, 2011 4:05:56 GMT 9
 This is the part called "Jokes, Jokes and More Jokes" is it not? Pardon me but I assumed that was where one put jocular type postings.
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Post by LBer1568 on Jul 6, 2011 6:11:51 GMT 9
THE IRISH PRIEST
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas . Father O'Malley rose from
His bed one morning. It was a
Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
The beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station......
The conversation went like this:
''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?''
''And the rest of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church.
There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!''
There was dead silence on the line for a moment ............................................
Father O'Malley then replied:
'Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''
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Post by LBer1568 on Jul 6, 2011 6:12:35 GMT 9
A Homeless Man's Funeral
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral
director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no
family or Friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in
the Kentucky back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a
Typical Man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently
gone And the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers
and crew Left and they were eating lunch.
I felt bad and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the
side of The grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in
place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I
played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played ' Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept,
I Wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes
and Started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I
never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic
tanks for twenty years."
Apparently I'm still lost.... it's a man thing.
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Post by pat perry on Jul 6, 2011 10:02:46 GMT 9
Tinwolf, You posted in the Jokes folder but the thread is specific to the Husband Store which is fine because the Joke of the Day thread has 109 pages of jokes and may soon explode.  Since I'm already here, here's another joke. Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, The Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, But definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents... 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, So I think we will name him... Are you ready for this? Scroll down................................... ...Sum Ting Wong. Pat P. |
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Post by Jim on Jul 6, 2011 12:29:57 GMT 9
Shame on you Patrick..................... Why not put Husband/Wife jokes here seeing as how the Bloke from the land of the warm beer started the thread with a good one?  Jim |
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Post by tinwolf on Jul 6, 2011 18:41:39 GMT 9
Tinwolf, You posted in the Jokes folder but the thread is specific to the Husband Store which is fine because the Joke of the Day thread has 109 pages of jokes and may soon explode. Ah I get it now, on other forums I`m on it`s one joke per thread. I need to settle my stomach after Pat`s joke so I`m just off to put this beer in the microwave, it seems to have cooled down somewhat.  |
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Jim 
