|
|
Post by dude on Aug 3, 2009 12:49:07 GMT 9
 Stationed at Langley there would be occassion when an impending hurricane or at least the threat of one would cause the squadron to evacuate the planes inland...usually Richmond. So there we were one day doing our evac thing. I was riding in the FMS truck as the last Six took off, all the AGE had been towed off, fire bottles collected, etc. The line was clean. It was starting to rain and the wind was gusting as we headed to exit the line. When we came to the guard shack the FMS SMsgt opened the van door and told the Amn in the shack, "Line's clean Airman. You can report back to where ever it is that you report back to." Clutching his M-16 to his chest the Amn stood up from his chair and replied (almost in a shout because the wind was kicking up)," Sir I've been assigned here by my Sgt and I'm not leaving until he relieves me, Sir." And then he sat back down. SMsgt: "OooKay Bright Eyes. Have it your way." (whenever he thought you were being a dumb a__, he called you Bright Eyes) So off we went up the hangar apron into the hanger. I was heading for the shop when I noticed the two guys that were suppose to close the hanger doors the last few feet were just standing there looking out at the line. One was saying, "Hey get a load of that." So myself and couple others went over to check it out because we hadn't seen a load of that in a long time. By now the wind was gusting pretty good and what they were watchng was the guard shack starting to sway with the gusts. About the time someone said, "Gee that thing might tip over"... it did. Well being young and stupid, 4 or 5 us ran out into the monsoon to check and see if the Amn was ok. There he was still sitting in his chair (now on his back), face full of rain (looking skyward) and still clutching his weapon to his chest. Someone said something like, "Hey pal don't you think you can guard this empty flightline just as well from the hangar?" Amn: "No sir. I'm assigned to this post and I'm not leaving it until I'm relieved." "Yeah we heard that one before. But look you're lyng on your back. You can't see anything" So he put two and two together, came up with 27 or something and stood up so his head was sticking out the doorway and he could see the line.  So what could we do? Can't drag him out. This guy might shoot one us just to make his point. So we got him to sit back down and then got on either side of the shack with him still in it and set it back upright. Then we went back to the hangar. We were not back in the hanger more than ten seconds and the #$@& thing tipped back over again. Needless to say nobody went running out this time. Instead we started speculating. FIrst it was how long before we saw his head poke out the doorway again. It didn't happen, so I lost that one. Next we began to wonder whether or not a guard shack was water tight; and if it was, how long before it filled up and this clown either drowned or came floating out the front door. That's about when the SMsgt showed up and saw what was going on. He expressed how Bright Eyes had now graduated to full fledged dumb sh__, and headed for the FMS office where he called the APs to come pick up their boy. Evidently the APs had forgotten about him because it was almost 30 minutes before a pick up showed up. Ever see a wet kitty climb out of a toilet? That's what this guy looked like when he climbed out of the doorway. And I guess since he was soaked to the bone, his buddies didn't want him getting them wet. So they made him ride in the open back of the truck. As they left, I couldn't help think, "And we give you guys the guns."
|
|
Bullhunter
Global Moderator 
318th FIS Jet Shop 1975-78
Currently: Offline
Posts: 7,445 
Location:
Joined: May 2005
|
Post by Bullhunter on Aug 3, 2009 12:56:55 GMT 9
Heck,,,,If he worked for me I'd give him a 3 day pass for standing his post no matter what. He was dedicated to his post and security of the flightline weather it was needed or not.  |
|
|
|
Post by dude on Aug 4, 2009 3:42:51 GMT 9
Got the pun.  Yes he was dedicated. But then so is a lemming right up to the last moment. Anyway, it must be my week to bash APs, so here's another: I'm working MA-1 Swings and I come in and get my assignment. The day crew hadn't finished working the job, so instead of turning in all their test equipment (TE), we just went to Issue and signed over the hand receipts. My jeep and I then head out into the hangar where a cadillac cart full of TE awaits us. Sitting on top was an oscilloscope with the lid off and set up as it had been used on the prior shift. So off we go with the cart heading for the entry point to the line. As we approach the guard comes out to unhook the rope so we can push the cart through. As we get up to him he says, "Oh damn." Thinking I dropped my badge or something I ask him, "What's the matter." Then I notice he's looking at the scope. "I saw that thing up in the hangar and I was planning to snatch it when I got off shift." he said. My first thought was aren't you the guys that are suppose to keep the rest of us from snatching stuff? My second thought was this guy's a car buff and he wants the scope to set up the dwell on his points like I'd seen them do at the auto shop (remember those?). So thinking I already know the answer I ask him, "What for?" And he says, "I was going to turn it into a TV." Well my jeep was green, but not that green and he turns away from the AP and starts laughing. Realizing this guy is serious, I'm doing the best I can with a deadpan that's making my eyes water. I finally muster just enough to ask, "Really? Don't you think the screen might be a little small?" Still dead serious he repies, "No. I was going to use it at the beach." :  Well that did it for my jeep and he bolts for the plane laughing his head off. Me? I'm still standing there about to give this guy a crash course as to why his plan would not be a productive use of his time when he reaches over to the scope and flips the power switch on and off a couple times. When nothing happens he exclaims, "Oh well no matter, the damn thing doesn't work anyway." Now we're at the friggin check point. There isn't a power outlet within 200 feet and this guys wondering why he can't turn it on. Realizing this is a lost cause, I push off with the cart, give him one more deadpan look and say, "Well better luck next time." So once again I'm left wondering, "And we give you guys the guns?" 
|
|
|
|
Post by lindel on Aug 4, 2009 4:41:42 GMT 9
And things to put in them!!
Kinda makes me glad I didn't have to deal with that stuff...
|
|
|
|
Post by Jeff Shannon on Aug 4, 2009 7:29:46 GMT 9
While at Griffiss it was during one of our "war games" our aircraft are on their way back to the barns. the first aircraft taxi's up towards the rope and the SP comes out of the shack, now were are all watching this inside the line because we have to quick turns this jets. anyway the SP steps pout and we think he is going to drop the rope right....nope he unslings his M-16 and points it at the aircraft!! we all watch in amazement as he draws a bead on the pilot inside the cockpit. This guy wants the pilot to show him is line badge!, the pilot is on the radio and tells job control just what is going on and tells them to ask the SP "just how did I get this here jet out without a line badge the first time?" Now the kid just wont give up, so one of the weapons guys tells the pilot to open the "doors" So he does and the kid doesn't move until he drops the racks with the missiles still on them and turns the jet towards his little shack.  He gets the hint and drops the rope just as his supervisor shows up. we could here him yelling at the guy even with the rest of the jets taxing in!!! Bet the guys described here in this thread are Chief of police some where! : |
|
|
|
Post by dude on Aug 4, 2009 11:09:42 GMT 9
Woa! Talk about one fry short of a happy meal. Don't need to proliferate the species with that guy. Pilot should have turned the radar on and cooked him. :   ;D
|
|
Bullhunter
Global Moderator
318th FIS Jet Shop 1975-78
Currently: Offline
Posts: 7,445
Location:
Joined: May 2005
|
Post by Bullhunter on Aug 4, 2009 13:35:57 GMT 9
Years ago when McChord had the 36TAS a C-130 squadron we had a turboprop test cell out on the flightline next to a taxiway.
Our test cell troops always had to pick-up cig-buts most mornings.
A large TSgt named Tiny went to work one morning extra early and just happened to see the SP pick-up truck parked right where the cig-buts always were.
When he got up to the vehicle the SP Sgt was fast asleep with the motor runing.
So instead of scaring the crap out of him he just let the SP sleep. it was warm that night and the trucks windows were open so TSgt Tiny just reached in and took the M-16.
Tiny walked back to the shop and called the SP Squadron and asked for the Duty Officer. Explained the cig-but problem and his SP fast asleep and TSgt Tiny was the proud owner of a new M-16.
No SP vehicles ever parked on the trimpad after that.
Tiny surrendered the M-16 to the duty officer.
I always wondered what likely happened to that SP?
|
|
|
|
Post by Jeff Shannon on Aug 4, 2009 23:19:38 GMT 9
Years ago when McChord had the 36TAS a C-130 squadron we had a turboprop test cell out on the flightline next to a taxiway. Our test cell troops always had to pick-up cig-buts most mornings. A large TSgt named Tiny went to work one morning extra early and just happened to see the SP pick-up truck parked right where the cig-buts always were. When he got up to the vehicle the SP Sgt was fast asleep with the motor runing. So instead of scaring the crap out of him he just let the SP sleep. it was warm that night and the trucks windows were open so TSgt Tiny just reached in and took the M-16. Tiny walked back to the shop and called the SP Squadron and asked for the Duty Officer. Explained the cig-but problem and his SP fast asleep and TSgt Tiny was the proud owner of a new M-16. No SP vehicles ever parked on the trimpad after that. Tiny surrendered the M-16 to the duty officer. I always wondered what likely happened to that SP? We had the same problem at Woodbridge UK. We went to the flight line one night and found the SP sleeping in his guard shack, so we just drove thru did our work on the jets and on our way out we saw his M-16 laying on the ground in front of his shack......All broken down nice and neat!! There was a MSgt sitting in a line truck just outside the gate and motioned us over. He said stick around, this will be good as it's almost time for his shift change. and right on cue here comes the SP truck when they parked in front of the shack I guess he didn't see the M-16 and ran over most of it. What happen next can only be described as a nuclear explosion. there was so much yelling and YES SIRs flying around we couldn't keep up with it. We just sat in our truck and laughed so hard our sides hurt. Yep the MSgt was the one who drove up and took the M-16 and broke it down. Never did find another SP asleep after that. |
|
|
|
Post by Jim on Aug 4, 2009 23:34:54 GMT 9
I liked it better when they were AIR POLICE........... MPs are still Military Police...........The Old Sarge
|
|
|
|
Post by lindel on Aug 5, 2009 9:15:00 GMT 9
I never had much in the way of run ins with the SP's, but my Dad did, working at Carswell AFB (when it was still an AFB) was working with an electrical company installing new lighting for their SAC area.
He usually got to work early and found the SP at the gate sound asleep. He moved the M-16 to a safe spot (no need to get shot!) and camly, gently work the guard up. True to form, the first thing he reached for was the rifle. After Dad got him calmed down he handed the weapon back. That was the last time the SP slept at his post while Dad was working there.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mark O on Aug 5, 2009 12:33:07 GMT 9
SP stories...
Or as they are known now, Security Forces - SF.
Anyway, back in 2005 I was working mids at Grand Forks on KC-135s and around 2:00 a.m. in the middle of February my crew and I were removing a drouge from the boom of a tanker. Sitting off to the right tail of the plane was an SF in a Chevy Blazer. Well, it was snowing that fat, wet, snow and it was piling up on the boom. We were up on a B-5 and started making snowballs and throwing them at the SF Blazer.
No effect.
WHAT?!!! Are they just ignoring us?!!
After a few minutes we went back to work and I went down to move the fuel bowser into position to drain the drouge. About this time the SF guy gets out of his Blazer and comes over to me. He was a TSgt and I was a SSgt at the time. He asked me, "Were you guys throwing snowballs at me?" I thought I was so busted but answered, "Yes. I'm sorry but we were just having fun."
He replied, "I was sound asleep. You guys scared the crap out of me!"
No, we didn't get in trouble and neither did he.
Mark
|
|
|
|
Post by Jim on Aug 5, 2009 13:19:35 GMT 9
OK, lets go back 54 years ago stationed at Chambley AB France, all A/1c- (3stripes with a star) in the 72nd Ftr Bmbr Sqdn pulled guard duty at night for 6 hours.......... Well it is Dec, cold windy and starting to snow and all I had for a jacket was that old field jacket (without a hood) and the vest type liner........Sgt of the guard (AP) come by about 8 PM with a cup of coffe and said see you at midnight ro relieve you...........By 10 my feet are wet, hands cold, and I can feel the wettness on my shoulders......Walkie Talki battery is dead and too damned heavy to carry so I opened the gunbay on one of the F-86s I was guarding and put it in there and opened the canopy and crawled in and closed the canopy. ............ Midnight comes and the Sof the guard pulls up behind the a/c and he is looking for me.. I open the canopy and slip out and report to him..... Now you turned your weapon over to your relief.......... "Airman where is your weapon?" In the cockpit was my reply....................So as punishment for abandoning my weapon- I got 4 more nights of guard duty......... But now I have 5 buckle overshoes, a ski cap for under that damned helmet and a field jacket hood and my raincoat- the original blue one that was waterproof.....That next night we got rained on, when I got relieved, I was cold, but dry and had my weapon............ The Old Sarge
BTW, we both forgot about the walki talki til I handed it to him the next night when he dropped me off at my post
|
|
|
|
Post by dude on Aug 5, 2009 13:57:25 GMT 9
SPs must be handsome people, what with all that beauty sleep they get. Ok. Here's my last one. I was going on mid shift and heading out to the plane to relieve the crew working an MA-1 problem. An SP was there at the plane with his back leaning up against the radome and his arm sort of hitched up over the pitot tube. My buddy was up in the cockpit running ground checks, but not transmitting the radar. So I climbed up to get briefed. Me: "Has that SP been down there long?" Buddy: "He's walking the line and everytime he comes by he stops for about 5 minutes. I think he likes to watch the lights (on the boxes in the radar rack). Me: OK stay in Standby and I'll get rid of him. So I climbed back down the ladder, kind of nodded at the SP and acted like l'm was looking at the T.O. When I'm was sure he wasn't looking, I turned on the drive switches for the antenna so it would sweep. Then I went up to him. Me: "How ya doin?" SP: "Ok" Me: "You married?" SP: "Yes" (I'm sure he wondered where this was going.) Me: "Got any kids?" SP: "No" (Now I'm sure he's wondering) Me: "You want any?" The SP looked at me like I was nuts. Me: "Look here" I pointed to the inside of the radome. The SP looked in and saw the antenna sweeping. Me: "You see that? That radar can boil a cup of water three miles away (I have no clue if that's true). And its been cooking you as long as you've been standing here." SP: "$$$$hi.......t. I didn't know." Me (now that I've got him hooked): "Do you feel warm inside because that's how it does it. It cooks you inside out." SP: "Yeah I think maybe I do." Me: "Oh man. You better get away from there. I hope its not too late." SP (moving away from the plane): "Why? What's going to happen?" Me: "Well it probably won't kill ya. If it was, you'd probably be dead by now and we'd be loading your sorry a__ up in an ash tray. But then again that doesn't mean it hasn't done some internal damage." SP: "Like what?" Me: "Well have you ever fried bacon?" SP: "Yes" Me: "You know how the longer you cook it, the more it shrivels up until it finally gets really crispy and crumbly." SP: "Uh Yeah" Me: "Well it could do something like that. Probably where you would least want it to" SP (looking down at his crotch): "You mean my..." Me: "Yep. If I was you I'd keep a close eye on it for a few days. Like I said, it works from the inside out. And for God's sake whatever you do, don't use it until you're sure its safe." SP: "Oh man. My wife's going to kill me." Me: "Well chances are you'll be ok. But you probably should avoid any more exposure." So off he went to finish his round. First he walked back behind my plane and came up the other side just about even with the computer door. Then he walked a couple feet toward the next plane and head back behind its tail. He finished his entire walk going behind every plane and not once going in front of one regardless if there was anyone working it or not. :tailed-devil
|
|
|
|
Post by Gene on Aug 5, 2009 15:58:52 GMT 9
at mcchord, while pulling alert photograher duty in the mid '70's i was called out to the SAGE about 0300L. it seems the guard to the first perimeter was practicing his quick draw with his reflection in the guard shack window.... yes thats right....he pulled the trigger and shot a car that was in the outer parking lot.... :confused :confused
:us_flag
|
|
|
|
Post by Jeff Shannon on Aug 5, 2009 22:09:30 GMT 9
For got all about this one. We were having an ORI at Bentwaters UK and some of the guys from the shop were tasked with "Augie Dogie" ( assist the SP's during exercises) well they come back after the ORI is over with and they tell us about the AGE guy who was stationed at the end of the runway. I guess he was bored so was aiming at the F-4's as they were taking off and returning. They said a pilot reported it and the the SP flight chief had a cow and drove out to check on this guy and relieve him, it seems as they rounded the curve this guy was standing up behind the sand bags and acting like he was shooting the aircraft as they were landing. The guy said it was no big deal as he didn't have magazine in the M-16. : |
|
|
|
Post by lugnuts55 on Aug 5, 2009 23:06:35 GMT 9
It must be something in the water at Bentwaters/Woodbridge. I was at a Commander's Call and they were doing the mandatory safety segment. It was winter and we had recently had a huge snow storm...six inches, which was huge for the UK. The safety officer told us about watching out for snow removal equipment and told us about a SP who had run into one of those giant snow plows they use on the runway. The commander cracked us up by saying "how do you not see one of those things?" I guess the SP's pick-up was totaled.
|
|
|
|
Post by Jim on Aug 6, 2009 0:30:24 GMT 9
It must be something in the water at Bentwaters/Woodbridge. I was at a Commander's Call and they were doing the mandatory safety segment. It was winter and we had recently had a huge snow storm...six inches, which was huge for the UK. The safety officer told us about watching out for snow removal equipment and told us about a SP who had run into one of those giant snow plows they use on the runway. The commander cracked us up by saying "how do you not see one of those things?" I guess the SP's pick-up was totaled. Guess he never saw a snowstorm at Loring, with a snowblower creating its own storm, you can't see $hit........ The first snowblower accident involved 2 airmen and it happened at Loring ..........The Old Sarge |
|
Jim Scanlon (deceased)
Senior Staff
FORUM CHAPLAIN
Commander South Texas outpost of the County Sligo Squadron
Currently: Offline
Posts: 5,075
Location:
Joined: July 2007
Retired: USAF
NBA: Spurs
NFL: Niners
MLB: Giants
NHL: Penguins
|
Post by Jim Scanlon (deceased) on Aug 6, 2009 1:26:46 GMT 9
When I arrived at Sioux City Air Base, Iowa in November 1952, I, along with all newcomers, was assigned to the Air Police for thirty-days of guard duty.
Piece of cake, I thought. I had pulled guard duty at Shepherd and kept the water tower and O club safe while I was on duty. So how hard could guard duty at SCAB be?
My first night, it was always at night, I was taken to a one-man guard shack near the Northwest end of runway 13/31. The Corporal of the Guard, yep still using Army rank at that time, dropped me off and said he would be back in a couple hours with some coffee. He also told me there was a phone in the shack if I need anything, or see any problems. I take a walk around and see a few corn cribs within a few yards of the guard shack. They were full of corn and if you were still, the raccoons and other critters were soon there for lunch. There were also some cows out in fields beyond a fence. They were no problem. Just made some noise from time-to-time. There was no specific thing I was supposed to do, just be there and guard the end of the runway and taxiway. I never knew if I was supposed to guard the corn cribs.
Time went by and coffee came and I was asked if everything was OK. A couple hours later, the CoG was back with a box lunch and more coffee. I was thinking this was a pretty good deal. Like The Old Sarge, I only had a field jacket, but no liner. Also had an Army winter cap. It had a fuzzy, fold-up visor and a fuzzy, ear and neck flap you could unsnap and pull over your ears and cover part of your neck. Also had the issue leather gloves, wool inserts. So, I was pretty cozy. No heater in the shack, so had to keep moving. The CoG said they brought a space heater when the temps started getting below freezing or if it was snowing. The night went along and no problems.
Until.
It was after the 2200 coffee run and I was getting tired. There had been absolutely nothing going on but critters eating corn and cows eating whatever they were browsing.
Then I thought the world was coming to an end.
I came from a family and neighborhood that believed in Leprechauns and Banshees. Shanty Irish think that way.
Well, all of a sudden I begin to hear the loudest scream I have ever heard. I just knew there was a Banshee out there looking for someone. I just hoped it wasn't me it was after. The screaming kept getting closer and then I hears a rumbling sound I couldn't identify. This seventeen year-old PFC was shaking in my boots and I had no idea what was going on. About the time I thought the end was close, there was a mammoth change. All of a sudden the whole night turned to day. I had never seen so much light at night and it was coming toward me.
I held my M1 Carbine at the ready and had the clip in my hand to insert. Scared? You bet this kid from San Francisco was scared. I didn't know what to do. Then, the light went away and I looked at where it had been and saw the silhouette of a B29 turning off the taxiway on to the runway for takeoff. Whew! Man, I relaxed and was so thankful the fear I had was caused by one of the RB 29s from the 103 RCS. When the plane started down the runway I was enough off to the side that the prop wash didn't effect me. But, I was sure happy to know what had caused my fear.
When the CoG came with my relief at 2400 and asked if anything happened, I said no. The last thing I wanted was for them to be making fun of me for being scared by a B29.
Never had another incident like that happen again, and am very happy it never did.
Jim
:god_bless_usa
|
|
Bullhunter
Global Moderator
318th FIS Jet Shop 1975-78
Currently: Offline
Posts: 7,445
Location:
Joined: May 2005
|
Post by Bullhunter on Aug 6, 2009 2:58:32 GMT 9
Oh God, that story is a kick ! Jim, then you should enjoy this. NOTE: Bad word at end so use headphones or make sure kids are not listening. |
|
|
|
Post by daoleguy A.J. Hoehn (deceased) on Aug 6, 2009 4:55:00 GMT 9
This is not a dumba$$ SP story, but too me interesting. In the 70's I was stationed at Andrews AFB working the 89th. It was a weekend and two of us were called to Hangar 6 to do a simple job on AC 26000. A no biggie but it was flying Monday as back up on a trip. Hangar was a "No Lone Zone" and strictly enforced. You got checked outside the hangar, entering the hangar and entering the Red Zone around the aircraft. Understandable for the SAM areas.
The 89th was unique in most everybody knew each other so visual/facial recognition was okay, but the SP's played the book and still inspected Line Badges closely. No biggie, you get used to it. They also had closed circuit TV in the area for added security. Again no biggie. The morning had been chilly and we were wearing our light line jackets heading to the job. a few hours later it warmed up and the jackets were getting uncomfortable. Off came the jackets and we went back to work. Now here's where it got sticky.
As I said we knew most everyone in the hangar well. There was alsways small talk between maintenance guys and also the SP's looming around the AC. We had been working an inspection of racks in the lower cockpit area or the AC. Our jackets were below us and laying near the nose gear. We decided to take 10 minutes for a smoke and coffee in the offices and dropped out of the compartment. Chatting we headed towards the access entrance without a care.
Now it got interesting. As we approached the sentries we told them we would be right back. Again fine... for a brief second. All hell broke loose. One of the three stripe SP's was looking at us real close. Then he and his partner whipped up their weapons, cocked them and screamed to hit the floor. Needless to say I ate concrete fast mumbling "What the hell is up?" The cops said nothing but jabbered on their hand helds while pointing their weapons at our heads. Confused and scared out of my wits I again asked what was happening.
It seemed like ages past and we found ourselves handcuffed and in a van. Finally the OIC of the SPs sat down and asked up all kinds of questions. We were told we had a trip to CSC for an interview. This was confusing as my partner and I both knew all these guys well. We even tipped a few cold beers with them off duty. The line chief soon showed up and laughing vouched us out of custody. Here's the problem. Neither one of thought to take the line badge off the jackets and put them on our shirts. He then handed us our line badges. Talk about feeling like a pair of idiots.
We got a short lecture and were allowed to resume our work. The incident turned into a bit of a joke as the day pasted, but you can be damned sure I never ever was without that line badge again. The SPs did their job by the book and were absolutely right in their actions. It just goes to show not thinking can result in consequences. Not all cops were dim bulbs.
AJ
|
|
He gets the hint and drops the rope just as his supervisor shows up. we could here him yelling at the guy even with the rest of the jets taxing in!!! 
;D
